Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

When Is It Time?

Falling out of time again
from the point where we needed to be
searching soul, for a way,
leads back only to where we've been
this world seems so sublime
as we fall down over and over again
when is it time?

If you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn to believe
determine your needs now from your wants
and wear this mask - at all times
if you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn believe
and accept your lot in which you're caught
false faith is what you've got...or not

I can't tell what this life should be
comedy or tragedy?
we have a need to find a way
to that point where we're all being forced to see
and if this life lets us down
know we had a hand in it's script
hero or the clown?
to trip or to rip?

If you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn to believe
determine your needs now from your wants
and wear this mask - at all times
if you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn believe
and accept your lot in which you're caught
false faith is what you've got, it's what you sought

Shakespeare said the world's a stage
but never gave a map to the trap doors
the things that we threw away
the things we made ourselves ignore
and when this mirror makes us cry
over and over again
when is it time?

If you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn to believe
determine your needs now from your wants
and wear this mask - at all times
if you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn believe
and accept your lot in which you're caught
false faith is what you've got, on ourselves it was brought
If you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn to believe
determine your needs now from your wants
and wear this mask - at all times
if you can't lie now to yourself
you'd better learn believe
and accept your lot in which you're caught
false faith is what you've got, or it's all for naught

Monday, April 19, 2010

Ambitions of a Tinker

I've lived to tell the tale
of agony and frustration
survived the battles of
self-imposed self-altercations
and made my best to find the way
while reason often alludes me
for I'm an idealistic fool
I posses this tenacious ambition
that I can never keep at bay

Pursuit of passion and contentment
may be nothing but a dream
though I feel like hell and wish I were well,
I know life is never as it seems
for the poet's like a tinker
whose heart's always for the road
life goes on, and so must I
no matter the weight of this load

For when the wagon's no longer moving
and this life comes to an end
bowed at the back, a confidence that lacks,
miles are measured by your friends
no sunrises or sunsets
ever define a perfect day
for perfection is an infection
and is what leads us astray

For I've lived to tell the tale
of self-imposed self altercations
survived the battles of
agony and frustrations
and made my best to find the way
while dreams often allude me
for I'm an idealistic fool
I posses this tenacious condition
that I can never keep at bay

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Reflections On Feeding My Gecko


This evening I was feeding a live worm to my leopard gecko. I dropped the tanned tubular being into my lizard's tank, and in a flash and a couple sharp tosses of a freckled head, the worm ceased its existence.

When we reflect on this, it offers some perspective on our lives and the absurd nature of our being. In the end, the worm is as much a living thing and a part of the planet as human beings are. Certainly humans are of a far higher intellectual order, but from biological perspective, we are no more or less living than the aforementioned worm and hungry gecko.

It is our nature to present ourselves as having a greater worth or significance over other living things. For one, being ego driven creatures with the ability to think abstractly, it is our subjective nature to make us possess such a self-perception. We place ourselves in our planetary position, because we can, not because we are. Certainly no other creature on the planet contrives gods and their superiority on the planet, as they are simply consumed by their instinct to survive and live according to laws that will ensure the perpetuation of their species. We interpret this difference to infer our superiority and greater life value over the rest of our world. Humans have the ability and thus are compelled to seek the answers to higher order questions, as well as imposing social structures that, while in defense of these theories, creeds and philosophies, often run contrary to nature. Weapons of mass destruction are a clear indication of this. What species, regardless of territoriality, would fabricate the instruments of species extinction? Many of our laws lead to disorder and revolution as they are not true laws of nature, and instinct marred with intellect leads to such conflicts. Religion is, of course, the pinnacle of intellect and reason poisoned by ego and alpha tendencies. There is something to be said in that all the answers we seek are to questions which we have, ourselves, created. To use Pascal's Wager as an allegory: "It does not matter whether or not that I believe God exists". Then there are the words of Friedrich Nietzsche: "The irrationality of a thing is no argument against its existence, rather a condition of it."...and this is life in a nutshell, with all it's perceived complexities.

In the end, the truth is that we are no more or less significant than the worm who, tonight, met its mortal fate. We too shall have our time. This does not mean that we do not value one another and have meaningful relationships, but rather refers to a physical, not emotional, worth. There is a beauty in all of this and, if you really think about it, this is a liberating notion (agreed, driven by the fabrications of intellect and ego). Ours should be of a nature to survive, live in peace and enjoy the fruits of our possibilities without constraint. We need not be weighted down with the sense of divine rights of Kings in relationship to the rest of the world, to gain needless possessions or gain power and ownership over one another. This is all contrary to survival and nothing more than sources of suffering, limitations and living death. We simply are a part of something greater, will have our time, come to pass, be mourned by those who survive us and then are lost to history. Our present significance and issues seem colossal, but, relatively speaking, few things in life truly are. To close in the words of Buddha: "All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else." This is all life is and, to live outside of this balance, is futile and nihilistic. In the end, we will one day be consumed by the worm.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Strings Attached

Well you know I'm rather artsy
and it affects the way I think
I bear my soul to those I don't know
like a man out on the drink
I espouse my thoughts and philosophies
but sober I remain
knowing full well, those ideals upon which I dwell
cause me nothing more than pain
life imitating Art you see
is nothing more than a dream
for conservative conventions usurp our intentions
and stitch us up at the seams
I'm freakish as on the fringe I hang
attached by this garroting thread
judged for believing differently
and the controversial things I've said
tell me what is the point of carrying on this way
trying to make water in to wine?
it's not a tale that I can swallow or system I'd follow
but I chase it all the time
tell me what is the point of carrying on this way
and trying to make my mark?
when the crowds they will crush you,
with tarred brush they will rush you
snuffing out that faint spark
For you know I'm rather artsy
and it affects the way I think
I feel so pathetic, wish I were apathetic,
or could drown away into drink
Yes, you know I'm rather artsy
and it affects the way I think
but I'm hooked to the seam, attached by a dream
so I'll give a nod and a wink...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The Yielding Limb

You sit alone
amidst strong yielding trees
as the wind, it howls
born of a breeze
the ghost of thoughts
rove swirling round your head
mixing pleasure with all that you dread
mixing pleasure with all that you dread

Away from home
where you can not dwell
and dogmatic circumstances
of this personal hell
the life you live
and the one of which you wish
leave you broken by all that's amiss

Why do we even try
to live in a world that
makes us deny?
O why, O why do we try
in a world where
our dreams are denied?

The days we spend
in a life so brief
stuck and gutted
like a wretched wreck on a reef
a sea that's so vast
filled with beauty and strife
the cruel savage nature of life
the cruel savage nature of life

Thoughts of a day
when these winds fill your sails
and the tempest desists
pulling you through this gale
to be in a place
as a tree rooted and sound
bend but not broken on the ground

Why do we even try
to live in a world that
makes us deny?
O why, O why do we try
in a world where
our dreams are denied?

Friday, April 02, 2010

Living in the Culture of Fear

The culture of fear
leaves us little release
stuck like a crumb
in the throat of the beast
the violence and terror
we need to be freed from
get passed on down
through the barrel of a gun
what if we all just ignored
the lies that have been set
can we ever be separated
from the greed that we beget?

Weapons in space
are the next bold frontier
billions blast off
this brilliant blue sphere
despite starving millions
they still make their case
to defend our freedom,
justifying this waste
but what kind of freedom is it
with everyone in someone's sights
pawns of power we've become,
swords, bombs now satellites

Now this hate they sell
creates this hell,
and we're lost forever more
for the culture of fear
drives us all to tears
and we're lost forever more

I try to live life
the best that I can
but just like the love
of a woman and man
nothing is simple
and sometimes we quit
or we're too overwhelmed
by society's whip
but what matter are our lives
when so many each day are lost
things will never ever change
if we keep paying the cost

The culture of fear
leaves us little release
though some of us try,
taking the throat of the beast
choose what to swallow, don't wallow
but choose to ask why
and live fully this day
for on one tomorrow we die.