My Latest Letter to the Editor of The Edmonton Journal About the Utter Incompetence of the Conservative Government and Frustration at the Lack of Opposition, Despite Public Outrage


We need a new Alberta.

I feel incredibly frustrated at how public apathy has remained so entrenched here, given the seemingly endless economic atrocities being conducted by the Stelmach Government. Where are the Opposition parties amidst all that is going on? Though having few MLA's in the Legislature, I can not imagine a better time for campaigning to begin the re-building process of potential balance in Alberta provincial politics by constructing the foundations of a viable alternative.

We need to have Government held accountable. Who is up for taking this task on? We send our soldiers to fight and die in Afghanistan for what we believe is right. We support protesters in Iran. How about fighting for justice and accountability in our own province?

The Government gave themselves a 20% raise to "attract the best", while taking away 1.2% of the 6% promised to teachers. That truly speaks volumes if you take a close look. It's not just the cost of electricity prices destined to keep us in the dark.

Tattoo Design For My Friend Part II



In my previous post, I explained the concept behind a tattoo design that I was creating for a friend of mine, and included a rough MS Paint sketch that I did to give a general idea of proportions and shape. That led to step two: the actual drawing. In the end, I came up with two designs, using the same general theme (tying in my friend's passion for cycling, the mountains and Yoga) and attempted to represent the concepts as elaborated upon on in my previous post.

The first sketch I have titled: "The Mountain Biker's Pose", a play on the name of Tadasana or Mountain Pose from Yoga. This particular Yoga pose or asana is intended to bring the body into alignment with itself and develop better posture, which I thought more or less tied into the piece.

As we look at the drawing, there is the mountain symbolising "body" and strength, the Om on the peak represents the height of "spirit" and the "breathe" inscription represents the breath, without which, there is no life. These are all tied together in union, which is what Yoga actually means in Sanskrit. Finally, the Bicycle wheel is representative of the sun, light and a dharma wheel.

While this design is in B&W, it could be modified with colour.




The second design is called "The Cog Chakra" or "Sprocket Chakra". Using Wikipedia for a simple overview as to what a "chakra" is:

Chakra is a concept referring to wheel-like vortices which, according to traditional Indian medicine, are believed to exist in the surface of the etheric double of man. The Chakras are said to be "force centers" or whorls of energy permeating, from a point on the physical body, the layers of the subtle bodies in an ever-increasing fan-shaped formation (the fans make the shape of a love heart). Rotating vortices of subtle matter, they are considered the focal points for the reception and transmission of energies. Seven major chakras or energy centers (also understood as wheels of light) are generally believed to exist, located within the subtle body. Practitioners of Hinduism and New Age Spirituality believe the chakras interact with the body's ductless endocrine glands and lymphatic system by feeding in good bio-energies and disposing of unwanted bio-energies.


In my design, you can see that there is a cog from a bicycle on the outside, the wheel on the inside, the Om in the centre and then the "breathe" inscription". Again, the symbolisms are intended to be the same. While not as effectively representing the mountains as in my first design, the teeth in the cog are intended to represent mountain peaks (with wear marks they could be made to look a little more snow capped without looking cheesy). I tried to incorporate the "body" idea, by having everything contained within the circle, just as we are all contained within our own skin.

Again, this could stay B&W or be coloured, depending on one's preference.




Anyway, they were fun to design and I surprised myself with the final results. I hope she likes them!

Another Tattoo Design, But For A Friend This Time


A good friend of mine who is an avid cyclist, former competitive mountain biker, outdoor enthusiast, Registered Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor, and I were talking about tattoos. It all started when I shared the idea that I had for my tattoo (see previous posts for the design, the concept and the finished work). Being a Yogi and a RMT, she was considering having an "Om" symbol tattoo put on the top of her foot; something that she could gaze down on as she worked on clients to remain centered and calm.

Tattoo's are incredibly personal things which should, in my opinion, bare significance that extends beyond fashion and fads. I put forth the argument that it seems everyone is getting Eastern Spiritual tattoos - Yoga practitioners in particular - and, while I think many of them are amazing, we must ask ourselves how much is our desire to follow a fad and, from a cultural perspective, why do we find the necessity for the exoticism of another culture (I wrote rather extensively about this issue pertaining to my self-identification as a 'Buddhist' several posts back, and how I was concerned that the concepts were becoming intertwined with culture and thus causing me to be more like an Asian person than a person living by the concepts of Buddhism), rather than finding something a bit more grounded in our own? Don't get me wrong, I was totally playing devil's advocate as I am apt to do, but I wanted her to really think about this commitment, and to get something that had a deeper meaning/relevance for her.

In the end, she more or less got what I was saying, and began to think a bit deeper on the matter.

I did too. Having known this person for nearly a decade, I created the design above. Below (in black)you will find my explanation of the design that I sent my friend...............


Okay, so I was playing with a couple of ideas here, all, more or less, drawing on the same theme. The overall idea was to weave together your love of cycling, the mountains and Yoga. I also wanted to covey of "union" which is what Yoga is all about - body, breath and spirit.

RE: ABOVE IMAGE:

This is roughly what the actual tattoo would look like. It is crude as I did it on MS Paint, so my limited artistic abilities were hindered further by the fact that I was using this programme and drawing with a mouse. If you were to take this to an artist, he/she could tidy it up significantly.

I looked around for a good mountain design. I wanted something simple with a peak, preferably in a Japanese/Chinese style - just the simple lines or wood block carving way they do stuff, preferably with a sharp peak, capped in snow. The mountain of course represents the obvious, but also strength and the body.

Next was incorporating the Om. Again, I looked at a few different styles, with the idea of having it transposed in the centre of the mountain. Combining this, you have the symbol of strength, with the symbol of spirit at it's heart.

To incorporate the cycling aspect, I wanted to place either a cog or wheel in an aura around the mountain peak (I went with the wheel in this version, simply because I like the sense of motion and direction). This would represent the reaching of goals/summit, while also having the cog or wheel represent light, sun and the dharma wheel.

Lastly, the word "breathe" at the bottom is very Yoga related, and it seems to be a bit of a mantra with you. It represents slowing down, savoring life, and life in general (so now we have the mountain - body, om - spirit, and breathe - the union between these things and, of course Yoga = union). As far as the script goes, I thought perhaps you might want to write it in actual Sanskrit, or in English, but with the Sanskrit font you see on a lot of the Yoga products today.

I think I'd keep it black and white, though a bit of colour in the spokes might make it cool - like an Aurora Borealis kind of thing...

Curious to hear what you think about it.

Cheers,

e.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

~ Gandhi

Please visit my Blog @ www.realerant.blogspot.com

911 and a Bystander Society


It's been a great summer. I found myself in the Rocky Mountains, Elk Island and Edmonton River Valley more this year than ever before camping, hiking, kayaking, mountain biking, etc. I love the wilderness. In fact, I am finding it more and more difficult to live in the city.

Case in point: my wife and I were going to the Strathcona Farmer's Market on Saturday morning when we heard shouting in an apartment from the inside of a building that we were passing. Initially we only heard yelling and I continued to walk on, but my wife and daughter stopped. Urban life tends to make one a bit numb to things such as shouting, car alarms and what not, and instinct is usually telling us to move along - it's nothing major. This is the conditioning resulting from the decline of communities and neighbourhoods in favour of the cubicle and terminal.

...But my wife beckoned me back. As we stood outside the apartment block, things seemed to be escalating with screams to "get off me!" by a woman, shouted retorts by a man, followed by the sound of smashing glass and things being broken and an apparent struggle.

So I called 911.

After giving all the pertinent details to the operator, we stood there, waiting. Someone peered out from the second floor balcony, directly above the first floor apartment where the incident was taking place, but quickly ducked back in. A man in his late 50's/ early 60's walked up to us and asked if 911 had been called. I replied "yes", the man thanked me for calling 911 and continued on his way. It seemed surreal.

I find this sort of thing- real violence - so disturbing and it really seems to dig up experiences embedded in the recesses of my mind, of which I wish I never had (prison, military, child abuse). It was harsh standing outside, listening to the woman screaming and screaming while we awaited the arrival of the Police (which seemed to take forever). If it was the movies, perhaps I would've barged in and taken the guy down, but alas, I'm no action hero. Part of me was saying, you're an ex-tactical team member and Correctional Officer who has been through some serious shit with the big boys, so why don't I just kick the door down and save the day? Again, real life is nothing like the movies. You feel like a coward, useless and full of rage at your inability to stop what's going on... or at least that's how I felt.

Just as the Police had arrived and I was giving the lone female Officer the skinny on what we had observed, a woman staggered out of the building, her face covered in blood. The Officer went to tend to the woman, while I stood there, in the event that I was required to assist in giving First Aid. As this occurred, two male Officers arrived on scene, I spoke with them briefly, and then, aside from giving my contact information in the event of a witness statement being required of me, left the scene with my wife and daughter. As we passed the balcony of the suite where the assault had occurred, a young man in his 20's, wearing no shirt and smoking a cigarette was looking out to see if he could see his victim.

It is sad no one else had called 911. I most likely would not have done so either had my wife not stopped, so full credit to her. In the end, it all makes me so angry: angry at my initial inaction, angry at the violence, angry at the inability to intervene. Then there is the overall sadness of what the whole scenario represents, pertaining specifically to our sense of community and desensitization.

This draws us back full circle to my initial statement of finding it difficult to live in the city. When I am alone in the wilderness doing my thing, one becomes aware of hazards but this is so different from the violence permeating our cities. Being mauled by a bear in the wilderness versus being beaten to death in the city are very different in that in the city, people would walk past, while, in the wild, you are simply left to the fate nature sets out for you. Somehow, in my mind, the nature scenario makes things a little less tragic.

I remember situations in the prison when that thought that flashes through your head: if things go to shit quickly, is your partner going to back you up or abandon you? In fact, there was one night when an Edmonton Police Officer had stopped a vehicle we had phoned in and reported that was stopped near Institutional property. The Officer called our dispatch several times asking for us to back him up, but our Supervisors would not allow us to do so because of their erroneous interpretation of the Criminal Code of Canada and the jurisdiction of Federal Correctional Officers. Finally, myself and another Officer said "fuck this", jumped into one of our mobile patrol vehicles and went out onto the country road surrounding the prison to back the Officer up. When we arrived, the Police helicopter had a spotlight on the Officer, who, in turn, had his weapon drawn and two men prone down on the road. The surrounding area was pitch black and overgrown with bushes as we proceeded to advance on the scene with our weapons drawn and assist to clear and secure the area. In the end, we found weapons and large amounts of cash in the vehicle. So, yes, this was a bit more like the movies, but my point is not to tell some macho tale of bravado, but rather to express that sense of what it is like when you really need help, people are within proximity and able to act, but elect not to.

...and I suppose this also provides an example of the baggage to which I previously referred, and trust me, that's not even the tip of the iceberg...

And that is it. I never met the woman. The Police have not called for a witness statement. Life goes on anonymously. Meanwhile, I'm looking at real estate listings for a nice cave, preferably south facing, close to a river or ocean.

Preparing For Another School Year & Coping With 21st Century Life in General - A Yogi & Teacher's Perspective


My Summer has nearly reached its conclusion as I steady and ready myself for a fresh new year of teaching. Over the next month or so my postings will most likely be sparse as I develop my year and unit plans, begin building relationships and setting the tone with my students, and basically try to get a grasp on where my students are at in terms of their grade levels. Teaching special needs is probably one of the most challenging gigs in the teaching profession, especially at the junior high level, and at an inner city school... and I LOVE it!

Despite my passion for teaching, the burnout factor is always looming opportunistically overhead. My students, generally speaking, have horrendous home lives where drugs and abuse are rampant, gangs and violence permeate their community, and poverty is an ever present issue. Inevitably, as their teacher, I also become one of the only "solids", "stability" or "structure" in their lives, and this is oftentimes emotionally draining. I love and truly care about my students, and their success means everything to me. It is especially difficult to leave the school at the end of the day and come home to the demands of my own family - my heart full, mind, weary. Maintaining balance is essential, and, at times, I do wobble.

So, what keeps me going? Yoga and Meditation are key components to my sanity and survival. Having started my practice in the late 1990's, I have learned so much in this area, supplemented by a plethora of readings by a variety of Psychologists, Eastern Philosophers and so on. Despite this, it is easy to allow one's practice to grow stale and I am always looking for new ways to change things up and challenge myself further. Though my Yoga training is rooted in Iyengar style, I do endeavor to get out to different studios now and again to have a change in scenery and add new perspective - Hatha, Moksha, Ashtanga, Yin, etc.. This is vital in any lifelong committment, whether in sport, relationships, career, etc.: vary the journey. So, as I prepare for my classes next week, I am also preparing myself in a holistic manner. Perhaps most crucial to all of this is that I am doing what I love and loving what I do. My career provides me with a mission and a purpose that is significant to me. And, when I do get down, as is bound to happen, the consistent maintaining of a gratitude journal keeps me on track and shakes the lull from my consciousness and negative perceptions.

Of course, teaching is not the only profession that lends itself to burn-out. All professions do. It is so easy to cloud our view of life, obscuring our view of its wonder, struggling under the clamp of the routine clipboard. Though perhaps I'm taking Confucius's words out of context slightly, but "everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it". Such is the case of day to day living. We all need to have to find a healthy release of daily stressors and the often monotonous pace our lives seem to be plodding through at sloth speed. Overcome by fatigue, we are so willing to submit to the couch, television and general apathy toward life. While having such fuddles now and again are nice, just like the occasional piss-up, second slice of cheesecake, or social cigar or cigarette, to make such practices habitual are detrimental to one's physical and psychological well being, and indulgence would make us frail. Again, balance is essential.

Time seems to be our biggest enemy in this whole undertaking. In short, we must make the time - there's no gentler way to say this. At the end of it all, you just require an hour each day as "personal" time. This is sufficient to work out, do Yoga, play an instrument or whatever "your thing" may be. Just make certain that whatever you take on: (a) relieves stress/refreshes you, (b) is enjoyable and (c) is not dependent on others.
Socialisation with friends or getting involved in other activities or clubs are also vital. My wife, for example, does Pet Therapy with our Golden Retriever once a week, and also does a similar therapy with our daughter where they visit people in extended care facilities. For me, I try to get in a couple hours of rock climbing in with a few of my colleagues every week, and have get-togethers in what my missus calls my "man cave" where me and the lads break out the instruments into a bit of a celidh, enjoying a dram or pint (or two...three...) and the odd bowl of fine pipe tobacco. It's all good.

Last but not least, I read and read and read and read. I read blogs and articles on the computer, magazines about the outdoors, Yoga and cycling on the toilet, novels on my sofa, the newspaper at the breakfast table. It's brilliant!

So, in closing, I hope that by sharing this with my readers that you have taken a fragment of an idea away with you, and I welcome you to share your thoughts with me. As summer closes and Autumn is on the horizon, followed shortly by the Canadian Winter, self-preparedness is an integral part of seeing the beauty in all moments and all seasons and realising the sentiments of "carpe diem" expressed by the Cavalier Poets.

Now bring on the new school year!

Edmonton for Edmontonians
Submitted to the Edmonton Journal and SEE Magazine


The greater Edmonton area is inhabited by over one million people. Clearly, no matter what policies and directions are taken by city council, they will not be popular with the entirety of the local populace. A new downtown arena for the Oilers hockey club, the design and construction of the Art gallery, renovations to Churchill Square, LRT stations designed like giant shoes, suburban sprawl, paying shortfalls for the Indy Car Festival, bidding on events such as the Expo World Fair, re-naming of events like Klondike Days to Capital Ex, closure of the City Center Airport, high speed rail links between Edmonton and Calgary and so forth are all examples of recent controversies (aside from the usual quibbles about construction, pot holes, etc.) that have been played out in the local media.

These controversies are based in a variety of perspectives. Some view the issues from a buisness point of view, while others from the perspective of wanting to "put Edmonton on the map". There are those who want to embrace and further develop the vibrant Arts community that exists here and develop infrastructure for pedestrian friendly echelons, and there are those who want to play on their ATV's, drive their half-ton trucks and enjoy their "toys", who choose things like the Indy over the Fringe Festival any day of the week. This is life in a cosmopolitan city.

In the end, we need to ask "what is really important?" In my opinion, making Edmonton an amazing place for Edmontonians to live while accommodating the diversity of of tastes in this city, and remaining fiscally and environmentally responsible is paramount. I admit that my bias leans more toward building our city upwards as opposed to outwards, developing areas where people can enjoy cafes and the Arts (I'd love to see a boardwalk established in the River Valley like Eau Claire Market in Calgary), preservation of green areas that support activities like what we have in the River Valley and so on. Despite my bias, a utilitarian approach needs to be taken as to where our tax dollars go. The Indy Car Festival - scrap it. You simply can not justify the cost-benefit ratio. A new downtown arena? No way in that it is a modest few who can actually afford to go to Oiler's games and, if they want the rink, they should pay for it, just the same as I would if I wanted to build a new rock climbing gym. One may argue the same about the new Art gallery, but, in its defense, it is financially accessible to most Edmontonians and is a fine addition to the Arts District, sitting beside the Winspear, and a crucial part of downtown revitialisation. And speaking of downtown, it only makes sense to develop a vibrant city centre in the interest of minimising infrastructure costs and road congestion. Edmonton's land area versus population is horrendous!

The two key questions we need to ask in all city project undertakings is: (1) will it be used and (2) will it be accessible to the vast majority of people who live here? No one can dispute the financial benefits of living in a city that is "on the map". But, to use a metaphor, it is unhealthy to suffer, be miserable or bored fifty weeks of the year, while living and enjoying life for only two weeks on holiday (which many can not afford). We have short summers and long winters here. Does it not then make sense that we focus on the day to day living aspects of our city for our citizens than it does to appease a minority of the population or to attract visitors? Trust me, make Edmonton amazing for Edmontonians, and more folks will choose to move here, thus contributing more to the local economy than a two day tourist! We are so much more than "Oil Country" and cowboys. We are three hours from the Rockies, a city of Festivals, Artists, world class Universities, medical pioneers, rednecks and many cultures... Each is a vital component of our city's fabric. Let's weave all of this into an amazing place to live for all!

The Acoustic Motorbike


One of my favourite "momentum" tunes is titled "The Acoustic Motorbike" by the Irish singer, Luka Bloom. Not only does this song have a sense of racing through green fields at an amazing pace with a overwhelming sense of freedom, but it's protagonists mode of transport is my preferred form of transportation: the bicycle.

I have had a few bikes over the years, and the intimacy one builds with their ride is much like the relationship that we would build with a person or pet. I find myself often building intimate relationships with the inanimate - books being another excellent example of this as one becomes enmeshed within a story.

I presently own two bikes. My Devinci Taos mountain bike is about 8 or 9 years old. It's nothing too fancy, but durable enough to take me over the intermediate trails that I tend to traverse in the Rocky Mountains and the Edmonton River Valley. I suppose I could upgrade, but I truly love this bike and feel that, more often than not, people tend to purchase bikes that far exceed their riding needs. Reliability and performance at one's own level is sufficient, and there are plenty of bicycles under $1000 that meet my needs perfectly, so I need not go nuts and spend $2000+ on a ride that has all the trappings demanded by professional or competitive advanced riders.

I just purchased my newest bike, an Electra Relic cruiser, a few weeks ago. To pay for it, I sold my Giant Peleton 8000 road bike, which didn't see much road time due to the hectic highways around Edmonton and was relegated to my indoor trainer. I wanted a cruiser bike to use as a commuter to work (paniers, etc. to haul my marking and other teaching supplies), but I also wanted to get a bike whose purpose was to take it slow and smell the roses. When riding my mountain or road bikes, I usually go all out, even if just commuting to meet friends at a cafe or whatever. As I tend to push myself to the max (sometimes in an unhealthy manner, over-training, etc.), I wanted to purposely get a bicycle that would compel me to embrace a slow and easy approach. So far so good.

So, through cycling, as with my Yoga, meditation, etc., I am seeking that balance that, hopefully, will translate into the other corners of my life. Too much intensity is just as bad as too little. It all makes me happy as I do what I like and like what I do.

...and it also lessens my environmental footprint and saves on gas money - it's all good karma!

INKED


So, there you have it - the final product. For the complete story of my tattoo (the vision behind it, etc.), please refer back to a few posts previous.

...and if you are new to my site, please take time to browse past entries as I have commentaries on a plethora of issues ranging from rants to thoughts on spirituality, lots of stuff on Yoga, Buddhism, etc., my outdoor pursuits, poetry - the gamut is endless. There's also links on the side bar to my other poetical and fictional writings.

Feedback is always welcomed, and welcome to my site!

Slainte!

Practice For A Positive Perspective


One of my favorite stories from the Eastern Philosophical canon is titled "The Farmer's Luck" and it goes as follows:

Long ago, there lived a farmer at the edge of a small village.
One day, his best horse broke through the fence and ran away. The farmer's neighbors came to visit and give him their condolences for his loss.
"Such bad luck!" they said sympathetically.
"Maybe." replied the farmer. His neighbors were puzzled by his response.
The next day, the horse came back, and with it, followed 2 new wild horses.
The neighbors, hearing the news, visited the farmer again.
"Wow, such good luck you have!"
"Maybe" said the farmer.
That day, the farmer's son, while attempting to ride one of the wild horses, fell and broke his leg.
"Oh, how unfortunate!" the neighbors said.
"Maybe" the farmer replied.
The following day, a military brigade marched through the village on the way to war, drafting all the young men in the village for their army. They noticed the farmer's son's broken leg, and did not draft the wounded young man.
"Such good luck!" said the neighbors.
"maybe" said the farmer.

What appeals to me the most of this tale is the simplicity of the story and the depth of its message. If we truly attempt to internalise the message, I think that we can find some sort of liberation and gain tremendous insight in terms of how we deal with issues in our lives.

I have run the gamut in terms of life's negative experiences, ranging from being abused by my Mother, bullied for being overweight as a child, having multiple near death experiences ranging from meningitis to having a drunk uncle hold a loaded shotgun to my head to prison riots to wilderness emergencies. Admittedly, these things did damage me. I am on medications for PTSD and rarely get a solid night's sleep. Every once in awhile I hit the brink of depression and have experienced the depths of depression in the past. My mindset is to always push harder in the sense that I need to further prove myself, despite several accomplishments, and sometimes I do this to the point of exhaustion or personal risk...

...but despite all of this, I am a happy person.

Granted, I this happiness does evade my consciousness, sometimes for lengthy spells, but it does always return. In fact, while I am probably intensely more cerebral than most, I truly believe that that which has not killed me has made me stronger. You see, just like the Farmer in the Taoist tale, my experiences left me in a position of either giving up or yielding to what they were and allowing myself to become flexible as opposed to fighting. If I had never been subjected to such abuses and situations, I would not be the person I am today. As a result of all these negative things, I discovered poetry, followed by Philosophy and, eventually, the Eastern ideas of Zen, Buddhism, Taoism and Hinduism. In addition to this, I have had therapy which introduced me to other ways to modify my perspective by way of things such as gratitude journal and discrediting my anxieties.

It is so easy to hang on to negative experiences. Afterall, we are only human and very emotionally based creatures, no matter how hard our intellect may attempt to counter this fact. Oftentimes we are unable to let go, even though we realise that to do so would make us feel better and allow us to continue on with our lives in a more positive manner. This message is delivered in another one of my Zen favourites about two monks:

Two monks were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. Coming around the bend, they met a lovely girl, unable to cross the intersection.“Come on, girl,” said the first monk. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. The second monk did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. “We monks don’t go near females,” he said. “It is dangerous. Why did you do that?” “I left the girl there,” the first monk said. “Are you still carrying her?”

Letting go is not instantaneous and may take a lifetime to achieve. This illustrates another quality that I have learned as a direct result of my negative experiences: life is about the journey or process, not the destination. Every beginning is another beginning's end. The beauty about Buddhism, Taoism, etc., is that it is all about the practice. There is always further for us to go in our experience in life. Being in the moment is crucial and the more we come to accept this, the more we come to reap the benefits of doing so.

This for me remains my stumbling block. I'm still far too much in my head. Just like a smoker may want to quit and knows the damage he/she is doing by having a cigarette, they continue to do so based on habituation and addiction, I too, while seeing the error of my emotional responses, do not allow my philosophical mind to centre myself. I have not mastered this, but I have made incredible strides since undertaking my present day approaches. Again, this underlines the importance of process, not the final product. This keeps life interesting!

Why am I writing this post? Well, those of you familiar with my writings (or who journey back into my previous posts) will see that this is an important sounding board for my own thoughts and something I like to discuss. Secondly, I was reading "Zen Shorts" by Jon J. Muth, in which the two stories I've mentioned in this entry appear (I initially came across them years ago in other texts and have heard a few variations - all which carry the same affect). Thirdly, because I've found myself distracted as of late from my more holistic practices such as Yoga and meditation and have observed the negative effect this neglect has had on my outlook. Finally, while perusing other blogs, I came across a few entries that sounded sad and despondent. It is my hope that, perhaps, someone else who is having a bad day may stumble across this entry and perhaps that will instigate a change...

At the end of the day, I write because it feels like what I need to do....

Committing My Mid-Life Crisis to Ink and Flesh



I have been contemplating a tattoo for a while. I'm not wanting to jump on the band wagon of fashion, but must say that there is a slight sense of tribal draw that causes me to commit something of personal symbolism in permanence on my body. I love Art, and, while not a very good artist myself, enjoy conceptualizing things and think that it would be very cool to make this design take shape. I do have a small maple leaf tattoo inscripted with "Made in Canada" on my left shoulder. I got that one for three reasons some 20 years ago: 1.) to commemorate my Naval service, 2.) a statement of pride as I backpacked extensively throughout Europe for a few years and 3.) to celebrate my two international appearances for the Canadian Rugby League National team.

This is the basic design that I'm looking at. It needs to be cleaned up quite a bit (I basically cut and pasted a bunch of stuff together to give the general concept using images from the web). The font and proportions are also requiring some adjustment. In terms of size, it will most likely end up just under 6"X6". The main modification that I am contemplating is not having the centre cog solid black, but, rather go for a metallic shading effect. I would also like to look at having the elk's head in the centre be transformed into a Chess Knight (substituting the horse's head with the elk's).

As for the meaning/symbolisms, there is the obvious representation of my favourite activities: cycling, hiking, kayaking and rock climbing. These are the things that really provide happiness for me and to my life, outside of family and friends (and made even better when family and friends are participating in these activities with me). But there is a much deeper symbolism tied to each part of the design, and I've attempted to subtly incorporate elements of my Eastern Philosophical ideology but in a relevant cultural context...

The bicycle cog in the centre with the teeth represents both the circle of life and the small ups and downs/ goals, etc. that life offers us. The cog also perpetuates motion and a forward direction. The circle is strong and demonstrates not beginning and no end - such is my philosophy of life in that change is the only constant. This also echoes my beliefs in Taoism and Buddhism - a slight play on the mandala is present as well in the overall pattern of the cog, but done so to reflect an image that is culturally relevant to me. As much as I admire many of the symbols of Eastern culture, I felt a need to make it resonate with my culture and who I am. This is a vital personal point in my overall design concept.

The elk is my spirit totem and an animal I've really come to admire and feel a connection with. When I go camping in the Rocky Mountains, I always tend to see at least one elk, if not dozens. A few years ago, I participated in a pagan ceremony which, much to my surprise, revealed to me that the elk is my spirit animal. Since then, I have developed quite an affinity for this majestic creature.

The reason that I would like to modify the elk into a Chess Knight is to represent the mind in the centre of the circle, which would, in effect, entwine the spirit and the intellectual at the centre of the circle or web, thus illustrating how all of these things are interconnected and are integral in devising our "moves" in life. I've also contemplating omitting the elk and placing a Yin Yang in the centre, but, again, that seems to be such a common image that its true meaning has been lost to a sense of fashion and style.

The climber represents dragging one's self up from the bottom, much like I feel I have done with my life, not just from my family origins (lots of abuse there), but also through the vistas of depression and PTSD. We all have issues that we need to battle through, and, quite often, we feel like we are simply hanging on for dear life. I know the sensation of hanging from a rock wall, grip failing, and having that sense of either digging into the bottom of the tank and not quitting, or to simply slip and fall away. Obviously I'm tied in when I am climbing literally, but that element is often missed out in the metaphorical - symbolised by family and friends. Life has been amazing the last few years, but it was tough navigating many of the darkened vistas that lead me here...

The hiker represents reaching a summit and goal and is significant to those things that I have achieved in life. It's also symbolic of enjoying the process, as opposed to solely focusing on the end result. In life we are always heading toward our next destination, but we need to enjoy the journey and take breaks, enjoying the view along the way.

The mountain biker represents the thrill and ecstasy of coasting in life after working hard to accomplish something. The sense of freedom attained on a bicycle, for me, is amazing. The same applies in life - when it's smooth sailing we need to savour every instant because we all know the impermanence of emotion. Equally, when thighs burn from pedaling uphill or we traverse an incredibly technical area, metaphorically speaking, we know that these struggles can be fun and are not forever!

The kayaker represents the whole "still waters run deep" concept and represents both the varied surfaces upon which we sail - the depths and the shallows. I've had some amazing moments of tranquility in my kayak, as well as having faced extreme and treacherous situations.

Finally, the quotation comes from Helen Keller - a teacher. Being a teacher myself, there is a connection here. Most importantly, however, these words resonate powerfully and represent my attitude toward apathy and mediocrity. I firmly believe that pushing yourself - even scaring the crap out of yourself - is what it is to be alive. I'm not a macho maverick type who is all about being extreme. What I do advocate is that life is about living, bettering yourself and experiencing amazing things.

...And that's just about it! It is my hope that when life gets hard, I will look at this and remind myself that this is not the first time life has taxed me to my limits. It is a memorial to all that I have survived and accomplished and a beacon that I will continue to do so.

Officers "Massacre" 12 Bears
Letter to the Editor of The Edmonton Journal


The massacre of 12 black bears outside of Conklin, Alberta is indicative of our ignorance and arrogance. People in the Conklin area were feeding these bears at the local dump - a dump that should have had fencing around it. Survival being the main idea for all living things, the bears took advantage of the free and easy food. Then, in our wisdom, we determine that the bears have become too comfortable around humans and must be destroyed to prevent any possible attacks.

Many will argue that public safety is paramount and we must endeavour to live in safe communities. Fair enough. We need to have homes and, as our population grows, we often take over animal habitat. Just like a bear will protects its cubs if we encounter them in the wild, we need to protect our own in our communities. Except, when there is an attack in animal territory, we still hunt down and kill the animal... which is especially ironic when the victims are hunters (I'm merely pointing out the irony here - I respect hunters and any wilderness attack is tragic).

What really makes me angry about this whole thing is how we are so quick to dispense with the lives of animals perceived as pests or hazards in the name of public safety, yet we are the same society who regularly releases dangerous sex offenders, gang members and pedophiles onto our streets daily from local prisons and mental hospitals. Imagine the outcry if someone started killing pan handlers because they considered them pests or potentially dangerous?

In the end, we must shed the arrogance and ignorant view that we are the keepers of the earth and accept that, more often than not with animal encounters, we are the problem.

Here is the Edmonton Journal story:

Wildlife officers shot and killed 12 black bears at a landfill outside a northern Alberta hamlet on Tuesday in what is believed to be the largest bear cull in recent history.

People from Conklin, with a population of 166, regularly bring their children to the dump to watch, photograph and feed the bears, and the animals had become accustomed to people.

"The landfill had improper fencing and there were reports people were feeding the bears," Alberta Sustainable Resource Development spokesman Darcy Whiteside said.

"It was public safety concern. These bears were not afraid of humans anymore."

But critics say the mass killing is inexcusable, because the government has long known that garbage, bears and people don't mix.

"Instead of investing in fences that would keep the bears out of the garbage and away from humans, they decide the cheapest solution is to lay to waste a bunch of living animals as if they didn't have a right to exist. It's really deplorable," said Sid Marty, a park warden turned activist who recently published a book about a garbage-seeking grizzly that mauled five people in Banff in the early 1980s, killing one.

He said governments have known about the problem since the 1960s, when Yellowstone National Park in the U. S. closed its dump to protect area bears.

"And now they haven't solved the problem," he said of the Alberta government. "What are they going to do, shoot every bear that comes to the dump until the end of time?"

On Aug. 5, the ministry received a bear complaint from the PTI Conklin Lodge, two kilometres from the dump. The lodge is a housing complex for about 300 people who work in the oil and gas industry.

Fred Bannon, vice-president of operations, said the manager called fish and wildlife officers after he saw five bears climbing up on the decks and hanging around the buildings. He said the manager's last contact with officials was Aug. 7. The bears were killed Aug. 11.

A Conklin resident, who wished to remain anonymous, was outraged when he heard the bears were killed instead of relocated. He contacted The Journal.

"It's totally inhumane. We are in their environment, there are no fences, this dump is unmanned, there are no signs to say don't feed the bears ... and everybody goes there to watch them because there's nothing to do up here," he said.

"We are inviting these bears to their death. It's just a total waste. It's a massacre."

Whiteside said he can't remember a time when 12 bears were killed at once, and that such large culls are uncommon, but, in this case, relocating the bears was not an option.

"If we were to move bears this habituated, they will come back to the area or they will become a problem where they are relocated," he said.

The ministry is currently working with communities as part of its new bear smart education campaign, he said. That will eventually include Conklin.

In the meantime, wildlife officers will be monitoring the area and making sure people don't go to the dump to visit the bears.

FENCE NEEDED

Whiteside said Alberta Environment and the municipality are responsible for ensuring proper fencing is in place to protect bears and humans. "The fencing issue has been addressed with the municipality. It's not our responsibility to build the fence around the landfill."

The rules regarding barriers are enforced by Alberta Environment, which oversees dumps. Department spokesman Trevor Gemmell said most landfills must have barriers that prevent public access and unauthorized dumping. However, requirements for wildlife mitigation plans, including barriers to keep bears out, are determined on a case-by-case basis.

He was unable to say whether the Conklin dump had a wildlife mitigation plan in place. However, the site was inspected June 9, and while the municipality did receive a letter of non-compliance, it had nothing to do with barriers.

Regional Municipality of Wood Buffalo spokesman Tyran Ault said the municipality has a plan to close the dump, which Alberta Environment is reviewing.

In the meantime, the municipality is looking at temporary fencing for the site, but is wary of creating what one official called a "bear pen."

BURY GARBAGE

Alberta Environment is working with the municipality on that plan, which may require burying the garbage and surrounding it with a permanent electrified fence, Gemmell said. A closure plan could be approved as early as 2010 and the site converted to a waste transfer station.

Defenders of Wildlife spokesman Jim Pissot said the situation smacks of "bureaucratic cowardice."

"It is absolutely unconscionable in 2009 that a garbage dump is left open in bear country, and that people are so ill-informed as to feed bears and encourage habituation," he said.

"What this boils down to is that this province, whether it's the premier, the minister of Sustainable Resources Development or the minister of Alberta Environment, is not committed to wildlife conservation in any sense whatsoever.

"These animals are not teddy bears. The responsibility falls to the province to protect wildlife under these circumstances, and without exception, senior elected officials have failed Albertans.

"This is a shameful black mark on this province's wildlife record."

Official link: http://www.edmontonjournal.com/news/Officers+massacre+bears+northern+Alberta+landfill/1892661/story.html

Elitism and the Decline of the Middle Class in Alberta
Submitted to the Edmonton Journal and SEE Magazine



Edmonton, and Alberta in general, is world class in so many ways: festivals, concerts, mountains, sports, etc. What troubles me is how elitist and beyond the reach of average people these things are becoming. For example, my family and I have done a fair amount of camping this summer in Jasper and Elk Island. But with the price of an annual park pass and roughly $40 per night to pitch a tent, we've felt the pinch in our pocket. As a teacher who works in a low income demographic, I am saddened at how the vast majority of my students and other lower middle class families will never get to enjoy the outside in Alberta. My wife and I both have good jobs, but we are still very limited as to what we are able to take in. I wouldn't even consider considering the purchase of a ticket to an Oilers game - or even an Oil Kings game - as it is beyond our practical/justifiable means. Folk Festival pass? Fringe shows? It all adds up.

There are two factors at play here, and both of them are leading to the erosion of the Canadian middle class.

The first point is that wages are not keeping pace with the rate of inflation and are driven solely by markets. This is why you can have oil rig workers making more than school teachers. I do not mean to be derogatory to rig workers as they provide us with a vital resource that keeps us all moving and warm in the winter. What I am stating is that people are being paid based on what the market can bare, rather than their social contributions. Enter professional athletes and rock stars, to whom I am making a derogatory inference. At the risk of sounding like a Communist, I believe that wages should reflect greater parity. Take out any professional element in our society: teachers, sanitation workers, doctors, truck drivers, engineers, farmers and we all suffer. We seem to want to put some on a pedestal, like doctors, while placing administrative assistants and custodians down below. Our misguided perception is reflected even further in how teachers, the people who prepare individuals for whatever career path they elect to embark upon, are not financially compensated, relatively speaking to other professions, and Education remains poorly funded by governments, proportionate to other things (such as Indy car racing deficits).

The second factor is public apathy and ignorance. Taxes and prices escalate, we whine, and then flick on the plasma big screen HD television. People continue to support the market, driving up demand and, thus, prices. Whether we are talking about Ticketmaster "convenience charges", $8.00 fire permits at camp sites, 20% wages to politicians, Indy car race million dollar deficits, $200.00 tickets to hockey games and so forth, the general populace plods along, paying begrudgingly. Low voter turnouts, the lack of any real political debate/opposition in the province, fully booked campsites and sold out Oilers games are all testaments to this fact. Imagine if we started to say "no"....

In the end we are left with debt and a gulf between the rich and poor. Deficit economies tend to implode. History teaches us that a nation's stability is directly dependent on a healthy, large middle class. As a society and a community, we need to be part of a solution to provoke change. Some Albertans will never see their own province or partake in many of the wonderful things we have available to us. It's truly a shame and a crime to which we are all contributing to in part.

Last Camping
Trip to Jasper for the Summer

Just returned home from another wonderful time in the Rockies hiking, mountain biking and, of course, enjoying multiple samples of micro-brews and vino! The weather was truly a mixed bag of the rare ol' mountain stuff, got up close and personal with a brown bear sow and her three cubs - truly stellar stuff!

My Summer Holidays

Let's not kid ourselves: from a meteorological perspective, Canada is a a bi-polar nation. In my city of Edmonton, we see winter lows hit -57 c on some days, while having summer highs of +35c. This offers both challenges (especially psychologically) and opportunities if you like to be active.


This has been a fantastic summer. I've got a lot of camping, hiking, mountain biking, kayaking and beer in since school ended (definitely a perk of being a teacher, having summers off!). The result has been a lot of wonderful memories, a few adventures and, inevitably, a few battle scars. Though in the middle of nowhere in many ways, Edmonton is a great town with an amazing river valley, hundreds of kilometers of bike paths, lakes and national parks close by full of elk, bison, coyotes, moose, etc. We also have a whole lot of amazing festivals.

Though I wish the Rocky Mountains were closer, they are only a three hour drive away. Jasper has become a second home for me this summer, and, in fact, I'm heading there again in the morning for a bit of camping, hiking and mountain biking with a friend visiting from New Jersey and my daughter.

So, as I've not been blogging a whole lot as of late, I reckoned that I'd share some scenes from what I have been up to. Enjoy the pics and perhaps make this a future travel destination!