Masochistic Perceptions, Trials and Truths

These are my cyberfied cerebral synapses ricocheting off reality as I perceive it: thoughts, opinions, passions, rants, art and poetry...

Tuesday, January 31, 2006


My daugter Enya and I - she's growing up way too quickly!

Monday, January 30, 2006


My Latest Whim


I’ll be the first to admit that I’m about as agile as a three legged bull moose on a freshly waxed floor. That being said, I was driving home from the gym today, observing the cold grey winter and listening to the French CBC when I was struck by a notion: take Tango lessons.

Now this isn’t as bizarre as it may seem. I love the vibrancy of Latino music and culture. I must say I’ve actually watched a bit of Tango – the first time was in Madrid in 1991. I know that I’d be brutal, but I think that this would be an awesome way for my wife (who is a self-proclaimed “clumsy camel”, to which I can attest as she once nearly took out an entire aisle of pickles in a supermarket while cart surfing) and I to get out and have some fun… you didn’t think I’d pursue this solo now did you?

I only hope she can match my enthusiasm once she stops laughing at me… There should be copious amounts of red wine, so I think she'll go for it.

So, anyone out there who can recommend some good Tango musical artists or any other Tango- related advice, feel free to comment below. Perhaps my missus will get us some instructional videos and music for Valentine's Day... or I will for her...

My ultimate goal, if we ever do become slightly proficient, would be a family holiday to Argentina in a few years time – Evita we’re coming!!!

Note: Photo insert is not me or my wife...

Saturday, January 28, 2006

An Ethical/Moral Question


I was reading another blog and it inspired me to present the following ethical/moral problem, based on an actual case here in Canada. I will present the scenario and would be interested to hear people’s opinions on what is morally/ethically correct, and assessment of the verdict…

A man has an eight year old child who is severely handicapped both mentally and physically. The child is in constant pain and is subjected to regular painful medical procedures necessary to prevent further problems from developing. In what the Father perceives as an act of compassion, not being able to withstand his child’s suffering any longer, he elects to end the child’s life. As a result, he is charged with murder in the first degree and sentenced to Life 25 in prison.

Is this justice served? Is the man guilty of murder? Is this man morally/ethically wrong by way of is actions? Were the courts morally/ethically wrong in their sentencing? Was Science morally/ethically wrong in the preservation of child’s life? Was this an appropriate/inappropriate outcome? Thoughts?????

Thursday, January 26, 2006


Dropping Albatross


Like Coleridge's proverbial Mariner in that well-known epic poem, I feel like a metaphorical albatross has been freed from around my neck in my decision to pack in teaching. Truth be told, my whole reasoning for not going the conventional teaching route at the start lay in my beliefs that the whole education racket wasn't real enough, constrained to the bindings of books and state programming agendas. I think back to G.B. Shaw and his statement "those who can do, those who can not teach". That isn't to slag off teachers, but rather to imply I'd rather deal with real world issues and get my hands dirty as opposed to plod away at the hypothetical. I also feel that I can contribute, perhaps provoking those done with formal education with new ideas, just as they reciprocate and open my eyes to new realities. I've never liked the snobbish attitude attached to education. I encounter that sometimes in my present vocation as a Correctional Officer in that some feel that I think I might be better because I have two degrees and have a smattering of five different languages. This is complete bollocks. How could one possibly compare a piece of paper gained from diligence through research up against someone who has done military service or been through a prison riot? Sadly, I believe that it is social materialism/classification that has lead us to hold such notions as truth. I mean really, who is a better authority on something like WWII: a PhD. or a guy with grade 8 who was there?

...but I am digressing here.

By deciding whether or not I wanted to teach, I can now focus on other things that need attention. There are some things at the prison where I work that I can now focus on to be a more effective Officer and to aid in the struggle Officers must face in regards to the system of which we are part. I also need to focus on my family, especially because of the strain shift work places upon us. I wrote in my New Year's resolution blog (just in time to ring in the year of the Dog I guess) that music would also be a focus for 2006, and I'd love to have sessions with folks interested in making music along the lines of The Pogues (Shane McGowan and the lads have lined up again recently and played a few shows FYI), The Mahones and The Tossers. Wouldn’t mind taking in more live shows, and have actually bought tix to see Bob Mould play here in town in March. Most of all, to continue to write discuss and read about all things. My torn hamstring is also about 75% healed, so trying to stay injury free and focus more on weight loss and Yoga are also priorities. Finally, I'd love to take a nice trip somewhere as both my wife and I have visited over 20 countries each and, sadly, have seemed to be remiss in our bohemian ways for many years now.

As for teaching, well, I’d be telling a fib if I were to deny my ambitions to become a neo-Indiana Jones of Corrections type, perhaps one day teaching a class on Corrections or a related subject… Just a wee thought in the back of my mind reserved or when I’m too old to play the young man’s game and will be more apt to prefer sitting back in my rocker with my pipe a 12 year old single malt and a good read… not that I don’t enjoy that now on occasion!

To conclude, I will quote the Butthole Surfers:

"Some will die in hot pursuit in fiery auto crashes
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes
Some will fall in love with life and drink it like a fountain
That's been pouring like an avalanche, coming down the mountain
."

Art: from "The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" illustrated by Gustav Dore

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

The Canadian Federal Election Results


Canadians elected a minority Conservative Government yesterday, or should I say did not elect a Conservative minority Government. This situation points out a glaring error in the multi-party democratic system as far more Canadians voted against the government than for. So, yes, the Conservative’s won the most seats but did not receive the most votes.

I think this result, though good for the country as the reigning Liberals really needed to be ousted, will leave Canadians facing yet another federal election shortly after the Liberals nominate a new party leader – I’d say this will happen within the year. It is also good and bad in that the Conservatives, who will need some support from the opposition to pass any bills successfully, have no natural allies. The Liberals will be focused on usurping power, the NDP’s agenda is too far to the left and the Bloc will be the Bloc.

Regardless, I do not believe that any of the mainstream federalist parties could or would radically modify this nation. Under the new government, I suspect that Canada-US relations will improve which is good. I don’t think that this will be a slippery slope sending Canadian troops into Iraq, nor do I buy into all the “Harper wants us to be American” rhetoric that former PM Martin tried to make us believe.

It will be an interesting few months. We will certainly see a revolution within the Liberal core which will be good as it might lead to two viable governing parties. Perhaps the NDP will utilise their newfound strength as well and possibly become a more viable option for Canadians. We certainly shouldn’t see the arrogance that we have become accustomed to in Canadian politics!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Career Conundrum, Spoiled for Choice


Jean de la Fontaine wrote “En tout chose il faut considerer la fin” [In all matters one must consider the end]. After abandoning my goals, and dare I say “dreams”, of pursuing my Teaching career some four years ago to become a Correctional Officer, I find myself with an offer from the local school board in my hand. Had an opportunity such as this been offered to me back then, there would be nothing to give up and I would have jumped at the opportunity. When I set out into the teaching world, I aspired to help kids who grew up in the inner city as I did, to amount to more than their surroundings had to offer. I did teach adults from this demographic for a little over a year before teaching maximum security inmates at the local correctional facility. One thing lead to another there and I found myself make the shift from Teacher to Correctional Officer.

The offer is to teach at a K-12 school for students who have been expelled from every other possible programme and school in the area – this is basically their last chance. The Principal seems like someone who knows what’s what in that she’s not idealistic, stating most of the students that they have will one day end up at the maximum security facility that I presently work. There are problems with drugs, violence (including staff assaults), abuse and every other horror story that you might imagine. It sounds like the chaos I’ve been looking for!

So, what’s holding me back? I firstly want to see the facility and meet some of the staff to see if they are a fit as working in such an environment depends so much on teamwork. Money wise, I reckon that it will be comparable to my current salary. The hours will certainly beat shift work too!

…No, the only two major concerns I have are (1) job security and (2) the burn-out factor. Let’s not kid ourselves, there is plenty of job security where I am presently employed, and, having a wife and daughter who are dependent on that paycheque leaves me with some hefty responsibilities. School Boards can be fickle. Before being made “permanent” there could be funding cuts or whatever, causing me to be made redundant.

As for the second point, where I presently work there are serious incidents and stressors, that goes without saying. However, to be on the front lines with some 15 out of control youths, in addition to all the horrors of drug addiction, suicide, sexual molestation, etc., one must maintain some sense of detachment – this is a sense of detachment for which I don’t know if I have a stomach for.

Finally, getting older doesn’t help. It’s hard to start off as the new kid on the block at 37. I’m comfortable where I’m at the prison, and like many of my colleagues. There is a sense of a “band of brothers” in that I have been through virtual combat scenarios with many of those with whom I work. I must say, for most teaching gigs, the fact that I have become somewhat institutionalised would make the transition very difficult as I found out last year. This particular position, however, would provide a much smoother shift. I can’t imagine someone who went straight from High School into university to get a teaching degree filling such a position, that’s for sure!

Anyway, I can puzzle and puzzle and puzzle ‘til my puzzler is sore like the old Grinch, but guess I’ll just have to see how things look on Monday when I meet with the Principal and then go with my gut!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


My Six Most Influential Albums
…Simply because most lists are in Denominations of 5, 10, 50 and 100








Love Gun” by Kiss

This was the first hard rock album that I ever owned – I actually bought it on 8-Track! I think this recording was an integral part of channelling my musical interests in Rock’n’Roll and I still, to this day, enjoy listening to it.




Speak of the Devil” by Ozzy Osbourne

This live album began my three year stint of actually thinking I was the Oz-man, biting heads off rubber bats, etc. To this point, the only artists I really listened to was AC/DC and Kiss. I can remember listening to this record on my walkman in bed at night and imagining I was on stage singing.




Everything Went Black” by Black Flag

This double LP was my first exposure to Punk Rock and, along with discovering the writings of Camus and Orwell, changed me from a theatrical head banging adolescent into an acting, conscious and aspiring intelligent individual. Black Flag was definitely a major cornerstone to my own band, Ick on Fish, as my vocal style was somewhat on the cusp of a Henry Rollins- Joey Shithead (of D.O.A.) sound.




Zen Arcade” by Hüsker Dü

This album, still one of my favs, opened up a whole new gamut of punk rock sounds. I could hear acoustic stuff reminiscent of the folk music I grew up with, as well as some more experimental noises.




Rum, Sodomy and the Lash” by The Pogues

Combining Celtic and Punk was a dream come true! I was a bass drummer in a Pipe and Drum Band growing up, and always loved the harsh-sweet harmonies of the bagpipes. The Pogues nailed this combo down perfectly, Shane McGowan is a musical genius, and they remain a favourite to this day.




Shakespeare…My Butt” by Lowest of the Low

This Canadian band brought the maturity to the tunes I was listening to that resonated my punk rock ideologies, love of acoustic and Folk music, with a strong but mature Punk Rock undertone. The song writing on this recording is second to none, and I’d recommend folks who haven’t heard LOTL to definitely check them out!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Mortality of Morality


In recent days I have been in cyber discussions around the topic of "morality", including on my own blog. Discussion has ranged in issues including the Canadian Correctional Service, Steroids, War and Politics. Further to this, I explore the issue of morality in my novella, The Peace We Really Seek, whose link can be found on the side bar here to your right. The general consensus is that morality is a contencious and very personal/subjective on one level, but on the other hand it is much like Friedrich Nietzsche wrote in The Gay Science: "Morality is the herd-instinct in individuals."

I guess the question isn't so much "what is morality" as that is defined as the morales one holds in which various matters of ethics, right and wrong are defined. The real question, I believe, is "can there be an absolute morality?" and, more importantly, are human beings, given our subjective nature and social conditioning ever able to truly see this absolute?

Personally, I believe that morality is an integral part of the social contract and necessary for human beings to co-exist somewhat peacfully, but I also believe that morality is utterly and completely a human fabrication. I don't really believe in G(g)od or religion, though somewhat contrary to this I do try to live according to the tennants of Buddhism. Secondly, morality is very much a product of linguistics and cultural perspective. As much as we try to create a black and white version of the world, it still remains several shades of grey. Without creating a set of values and morals, we are very much in danger of returning to the natural state of being described by Thomas Hobbes. In Leviathan Hobbes writes: "During the time men live without a common power to keep them in awe, they are in that condition which is called war; and such a war as is of every man against every man".

It is interesting when one contrasts different takes on morality. I was raised in a Christian-Judeo Western culture in which one practices hetrosexual monogamy, considers killing and suicide wrong, etc., and this is very much how I live my life. Contrast that to 16th Century Japan (I'm just finishing Shogun) where pillowing is a liberally enjoyed pleasure, killing a part of life and seppuku (suicide) desired by many. Are there any true absolutes which can be derrived, or one proven more right than the other?

I'd be interested to hear what folks think about this topic. Is there truly an absolute morality or is morality and its quest merely a subjective direction of the masses?

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Hard Time


It's not easy being a Correctional Officer, and I'm not talking about the duties one must carry out in a career behind bars. No, the truly hard part is that it is very difficult to hold your head up high and tell folks that you are a Prison Guard. Let's face it, most people's reality of prison comes from the movies. Hollywood has been good to to the Police, Firefighters and Military in that its portrayal of these people tends to weigh much more on the hero side rather than villian. Then think of how Correctional Officers are presented on-screen: the poor, hard done convicetd murderers playing football against those evil Guards in "The Longest Yard", cheering for the maximum security inmate to get away in "Escape from Alcatraz" or the just plain nasty Officers in "The Shawshank Redemption". Overall, Correctional Officers are painted as narcisistic knuckle draggers.

Now don't get me wrong, when a Guard tells folks what his/her occupation is at a party, folks are usually all ears for the tales we can tell. I guess that is human nature. Most folks say "I don't know how you can do what you do" and are often gobsmacked by tales so seemingly far fetcched that they are too absurd not to be true! A colleague of mine has coined a perfect statement in such instances: "I'm serious, you just can't make this kind of stuff up" when recounting some of the crazy policies and activities inside.

As a Correctional Officer in Canada you are classified as a "peace officer"; that's the same designation given to City Police and the RCMP. In my job I often am in a secure post, armed with a 9mm AR-15 carbine and tasked with what to do when shit hits the fan which could be the difference between fellow Officers getting out of a jam safely to utilisation of lethal force. I personally have been a millimeter shy in a trigger pull from shooting an inmate, have seen brutalised murdered corpses, been up to my knees in blood, put out fires and been in the middle of a few riots, once evactuated under the cover of gunfire. I have been in a situation where I assisted city policie in a high risk takedown with helicopters, etc. just off Institutional property. I have waited, completely unable to do anything, while a colleague and very good friend was taken hostage. I have put out fires wearing nothing but a SCBA.

Where am I going with all of this? The Liberal Party in the run-up to the federal election next week stated that they intend to set up a "Hero Fund" for first responders (i.e. Firefighters, Police, EMT's, etc.) that would contribute $250,000 to the families of those who were killed in the line of duty. Canadian Correctional Officers were not included in this group.

So, the next time an inmate torches his cell, rather than respond as we usually do, perhaps we should call the Fire Department. If there is an inmate fight, we'll diall 9-1-1.

At the end of the day, I guess that I am writing this out, partly to vent, but also to perhaps reach one or two people who don't know me and have taken their time to read this missive. I have a t-shirt with a list naming all the Fallen Correctional Officers in my country, and it reads like a war memorial. I'm not trying to take anything away from other law enforcement professions, but rather let the voice of the justice system's bastard child be heard. I work for an employer who deemed that wearing a stab proof vest for my personal pertection in a maximum security prison was "intimidating" to inmates and didn't foster a "trusting" atmosphere, and the same was said of handcuffs. We won the rights to wear cuffs, should receive our vests in the next 2 years, but are still fighting to wear OC spray and carry collapsable batons for our protection. Our reason: approximatley 90 staff assaults in Canadian prisons for 2005.

As for the knuckle dragging, like any organisation there is a vast demographic comprising its ranks. On the whole, you'd be suprised. I have a couple of university degrees and am not the exception.

In the end, we keep the bad guys locked up so that the rest of society can breathe a bit easier. I'm not looking for a pat on the back, but rather the opportunity to have a sense of pride. Sadly, all I feel is futility.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Wetland Hunter


lick your lips
moist, muddy
tongue like a towel
O la flam rouge
O Cameroon
O Khmer Rouge
O bloody
eyes opened wide
swallowing whole
the mottled colours
molten and smiling
O brother
O bother
O Mother
O Father
Lick, lick, lick
life on the tundra
tick, tick , tick, click
safety snap off
O Sadness
O Saddam
O Sodom,
Gomorrah
sting from the tears
the singing mocked laughter
lick, lick, tick
Lick, lick , lick, click
one more in the chamber
l’hiver
sans blanche,
Jamias, peut jamais
Nager! Nager!
visage sur la lac
beach salt sand
grit and cramp
O water
O winter
O splinter
O hinterland
ducks in a row
webbed foot flopping
down dropping
shotgun echo
dead.

Monday, January 09, 2006

National Leadership Debate (en anglais)


I just finished watching the last English language debate between the four big Canadian Parties (er... well, actually I just finished watching Rollergirls, though I watched the debate prior to that - yay Sister Mary Jane!) before our federal election in two weeks time and came away shaking my head. It amazes me the low calibre of individuals we have running to lead this nation out of over 30 million people. I know, it's not just us as the U.S. elected George W. twice and they have some 350 million folks down there to select from. You would think, however, that somebody with some kind of vision and ideology would eventually rise to the challenge, become the head of a major political party and truly make a difference. Hell, I'd settle for someone who would simply answer a question "yes" or "no", even if they were against my ideological beliefs. Seriously, you ask a question about something like "did you" or "didn't you" and you get some kind of tirade about something completely unrelated.

And then they wonder why voting numbers are declining...

I have considered politics briefly as I feel that it's easy to stand back and take pot shots, and that you've got to put your money where your mouth is some time, but don't think that I would ever take the plunge as there is no mainstream or even fringe party that represents my views, nor is there a party that I could fully endorse and not feel a hypocrite. I am actually a Shop Steward for the Correctional Officers Union local at the prison where I work, but more often than not find it hard to tow the party line as the regional and national echlons often bring stuff forward that I personally oppose. My god, perhaps I'm a closet anarchist!

In spite of the bleak landscape, I feel compelled to vote for someone. Part of it is because many people died for the right to vote, though some may argue that they died also for the option not too. I do feel that to criticise one must at least partake in the process, and perhaps this is how I am validating my voice.

It really is amazing how we have survived as a nation...

In any case, to lead a Western nation these days we would be naive to believe that ideology really plays a significant role in that most mainstream parties are angling more to be the national CEO, and that's why the issues of money tend to receive somewhat more concrete attention than anything in regards to ethics or social policy. For example, the Liberals and Conservatives will give you a somewhat straight answer on certain tax break proposals (whether or not they follow through is a completely different issue) such as our 7% GST, but major questions like "polls indicate that the majority of Canadians support the death penalty for certain crimes; would your party consider re-establishing capital punishment?" will never get anything close to resembling a "oui" or "non".

Perhaps it's the lack of ideological rhetoric that characterises the lack of passion amongst the electorate. There is nothing really to get folks fired up, stimulating conversation around the water cooler or in the cafes and pubs. And this is what any successful corporate CEO wants of their workers: a bit of grumbling, but, at the end of the day, complete subserviance and antipathy. We look at the only parties with a strong ideological approach to government such as the Libertarians, Marxists, Greens, etc., and laugh as we are so entrenched within the corporate mentality and know that, sadly, any of these fringe parties would lead us to economic ruin. The only exception is the Bloc Quebecois.

...It would be interesting if every province and territory in Canada had a similar party to the Bloc who's primary concern is one province, in spite of being of national party standing. Imagine, the Nova Scotia Party in the House of Commons, sitting next to the Alberta and Manitoba Parties... It might not be a bad idea and could stimulate some debate amongst the masses.

...Ah, I am so dreaming!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

My National Talk Radio Phone-In Debut


I made my national talk radio debut on the Peter Warren show this afternoon, calling in on the topic of Canadian Corrections. They had a RCMP inspector showing how Corrections Canada is scamming the Canadian public in regards to incarceration and recidivism rates. I called in, stating how the Canadian Criminal Justice system is rotten and dependant on public antipathy and naivity.

Earlier in the programme, people had called in praising an Ontario Mother who had turned her 16 year old son in to police after finding a loaded AK47 and cocaine in his room, stating that "she did the right thing" and that "her son can now get the help he needs". I stated the fact that inmates are released onto the street every day from maximum security prisons without ever taking a single programme.

Further to this, I also stated the cost of housing a max inmate, which ranges from $80,000 - $120,000 per year, and to think of how many hot lunch programmes we could pay for at schools in our community or better treatment we might offer war veterans with this kind of money.

Perhaps my strongest point was how, in being incarcerated, though you lose the right of mobility, you actually gain more rights than a law abiding citizen in that, by being a ward of the state, you have the right to three meals each day, legal representation, etc. Think about it: if you don't/can't buy groceries, how will you eat today? Incarcerated inmates have three square meals per day catered, satellite television, a daily gym period and get paid whether or not they hold a job in the jail (though rates vary) so that they can buy canteen items (ranging from tobacco to potatoe chips, etc.), have clothing and shelter provided, etc. As an Officer and law abiding citizen, I work for the federal government (who takes approximately 1/3 of my bi-weekly paycheque, part of which pays my salary), have to pay a mortage, property taxes and insurance, gym membership, food for my family, clothes, etc.... leaving my mobility rights if I can afford the fare or gas...

Don't even get me started on how my Federal Government Medical Insurance won't pay for me to go to a private MRI clinic, yet they will for inmates....

...Now if only i could find those ruby slippers, then I'd be outta here!

Friday, January 06, 2006


Innocence


I was sitting in a Starbucks this morning, reading my book and waiting for my wife's car to be serviced, when this mother and her teenage son sat down, joined a few minutes later by an older guy. Now I'm not one to really eavesdrop on a conversation, but I am also hypersensitive to noise while I'm trying to read, and also somewhat hypervigilant stemming from my job as a prison guard.

Anyway, this was actually some kind of outreach/counselling session and, as it turned out, the teenage boy - probably between 15-17 - was trying to get off crystal meth. I listened as the old guy explained the withdrawl, etc., as well as more candid comments when the young lad went to the toilet.

As a young parent and someone who works in a Corrections environment, this scares the shit out of me. I look at my three year old and then try to put my place in that Mother's shoes. I've got a friend who is an addictions counsellor as well and some of the tales he tells me make some of the stuff that I've seen in jail pale in comparison. I also am infuriated when I see the rights and treatment the dealers and gang members who perpetuate the drug trade receive in our prisons, treated better than veterans who gave their all for this country, and the elderly who helped build this country.

Canadian leaders are talking a tough game here in the run-up to an a federal election later this month on stiffer sentences, etc. I can honestly say that if someone ever sold my child drugs I would make it my mission in life to put a stake through his/her vampire heart. In my opinion, the people who perpetuate these kinds of crimes against humanity are worse than some murderers in that their victims live and, more than likely, create more victims in an effort to support their addictions.

I look at the innocence of my three year old daughter, and know that she will grow up like we all did and partake in her fair share of passage rites, but I grew up in times more like those on Leave it to Beaver, not the world of Trainspotting on steroids like we have now. One hopes that they will be a good parent, but at some point we have to trust our children and send them out there. The thing is that the waters are much different; where my generation might have tried smoking a cigarette at ten years of age, kids today are smoking meth and getting hooked - BANG!

Society is ours and we need to take it back. If you have kids, talk to them. Lobby your politicians for tougher sentencing for drug trafficking, etc. For god's sake, don't sit there in apathy!

Photo: My daughter, Enya
Canadian Music


Canada has always had a great independent music scene. With the Internet it's easier than ever to find stuff that you might not have had access to previously, and even download some of it for free. So, I've compiled a list of 20 must hear Canadian artists, though concede that these are bands to my musical tastes which are vast but somewhat on the fringe at times:

1. The Lowest of the Low (alternative rock with poetic lyrics + great accoustic bits)
2. Wendy McNeill (Parisian Cafe songs - great voice and accordion)
3. D.O.A. (awesome hardcore punk rock)
4. The Nils (alternative rock circa the 1980's)
5. The Payolas (alternative pop with reggae, calypso and folk influences)
6. S.N.F.U. (playful punk rock)
7. Great Big Sea (popular fusion of traditional Celtic music with pop and rock)
8. The Mahones (Canada's answer for the Pogues)
9. Tegan & Sarah (awesome alternative folk)
10.The Arcade Fire (very alternative rock with violins and French horns)
11.Metric (alternative funky, punky, poppish stuff with gorgeous lead singer, Emily Haines)
12.Bruce Cockburn (very political folk)
13.Stan Rogers (awesome Canadian folk)
14.Captain Tractor (Celtic stuff meshed with rock)
15.Ron Hawkins and the Rusty Nails (Lowest of the Low front man with similar and different sounds)
16.The Spirit of the West (alternative rock with Celtic and World sounds added)
18.The Asexuals (great alternative punk rock)
19.Sarah Harmer (awesome folky stuff)
20.Hot Hot Heat (alternative pop/rock)

...In compiling this list I obviously left out a lot of bigger bands like the Tragically Hip, Sarah McLaughlin, Rush, Barenaked Ladies, etc., but figured they are pretty well known by international audiences.

So, check 'em out if musical diversity is your thang!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

New Haiku Challenge



Taking a break from my Roller Derby, I began to think again about haiku’s. Somewhere in my cerebral wanderings, my mind entered the world of Cole’s Notes (or whatever you used to get a quick synopsis of a novel you had to read in high school or university but never seemed to find enough time) and then to all the books I wanted to read and how, even if all those books were in Cole’s Notes, I still wouldn’t have had enough time (I did go to a bookstore today, perhaps that's what set me off). Putting 2 +2 together (Dostoevsky’s “Notes From Underground” excluded of course – read it and you’ll get my comment), I thought “wouldn’t it be great if there were haiku versions of some of literature’s great works?”. So, I have decided to take some of my favourite reads, put it into the 17 syllables of a haiku and offer it to folks who want to know what a book is all about but can’t find the time to read it. I am also issuing a challenge to all of you in cyber land to send me your haiku versions of your favourite books (James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” would be a good start).

So, without further ramblings, here’s a couple to stew over:


Franz Kafka’s “Metamorphoses

awoke dung beetle
parents conceal from friend’s view
son laying in room


Albert Camus’ “L’Etranger

mother died today
no sympathy, shot Arab
beach, hero absurd

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Roller Derby: My Nano of Cranial Fluff



We all have it. That one little thing that is excessively cheesy or overtly indulgent that we elect to partake in on occasion, whether it be latch-hook rug making, trashy novels or watching poorly dubbed Kung Fu movies. So, last night, lamenting my sore hamstring, I settled down with an ice pack and flipped on the bube-tube to see what was on. Not being a big fan of TV, I perused the listings menu about four times before electing to watch “Rollergirls” which is a quasi reality based programme about these Roller Derby chicks in Texas. I vaguely remember Roller Derby from my youth, back in the days of Skinny Mini Miller and crew, so I thought that this would be just the thing I needed to avoid becoming dangerously introspective and perhaps cracking a book.

Well, after an hour of this show I was hooked. Perhaps it was that the raunchy partying nature of the girls reminded me of my Rugby playing days – they certainly played and partied hard. It certainly didn’t hurt that most of them were incredibly hot either. Regardless of why, the fact remains that I am now a fan. So, I urge you all to support your local Roller Derby associations, and watch the programme if it is available wherever you are living. You can also check out their web site at A&E: http://www.aetv.com/rollergirls/index.jsp , or this guys cool blog: http://www.waynesderbyworld.blogspot.com/

My 3 favs are the nurse, Lux, the rookie, Venus Envy, and Sister Mary Jane, the elementary school teacher.

…And now, having no dignity remaining and dropping several rankings in my integrity ratings, I will conclude and return to my Gwynne Dyer book titled: “Future Tense: The Coming World Order” as my penance.
War Made Easy


I was listening to a very interesting exerpt from an Alternative Radio broadcast lecture given by Normon Soloman called "War Made Easy". The synopsis of this lecture, available from www.alternativeradio.org , reads as follows:

War is the health of the state," the radical writer Randolph Bourne once said. And when the U.S. goes to war most of the corporate media wrap themselves in the American flag and join the parade. Instead of being on the sidelines and acting as independent and critical observers, too many journalists become cheerleaders. And in several notorious cases reporters have actually become conduits for government disinformation and propaganda. They simply take Pentagon and White House press releases and change a few words around and recycle them as "news." Media subordination to state power weakens democracy, does not serve the information needs of citizens, and makes war easy.

The audio clip I heard has Solomon quoting the infamous Nazi, Hermann Goering, who said, and I'm paraphrasing here, "war is easy regardless of what the public want. To get them to do the government's bidding, you simply tell them that they are being attacked and single out the pacifists as being unpatriotic, etc."

In previous missives I have been very critical of the mainstream media and this is further evidence of the social programming to which I have alluded to. The information that I am quoting here is also a product of a specific media niche, that of the left wing liberal organ. Though the left wing media always seems to be somewhat better in its foundations in contrast to CNN, etc., it is comprised largely of intellectuals who sometimes are rooted too deeply in their cerebral existence and idealisms to see the real world for what it is. So that which I have provided above is to be considered rather than accepted as gospel.

I have written the following over and over again: Reality is one's perception of existence. Existence is the fabrication of nothingness into being. Nothing implies "no thing" and therefore "some thing". Thus everything is an echo. I originally wrote this on a 20th Century Fiction exam while doing my undergrad degree at Dalhousie University. You see, my rather eccentric prof would circle words like "reality" and "normal" in a paper and ask "what do you mean by this?" So, at the beginning of each essay I would write this set of definitions.

The point is, life is grey, not black and white, yet we try to live as if it is black and white. The truth is, all we see, hear and do is filtered through our selves and thus an echo of something, but never the thing in its actual form.

In closing, I simply ask that people try to maintain an open mind, try to read several points of view as opposed to padding your beliefs with things that don't offend your ideals and think before taking a stand. Personally, I think the war in Iraq, as this is ultimately what this lecture was about, was the wrong action to take. I am willing to listen to opposing views, and perhaps might even change my point of view one day. That is what it is to truly be a free thinker, in my opinion.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Ow!

The New Year has not started out well in regards to my fitness goals. I went to the gym, a bit on the tired side, was doing my cool-down set of deadlifts when I heard a snapping sound like someone flinging an elastic and a sensation in my right hamstring like an elastic snapping under the skin, followed by pain. Is there some kind of warranty that expires after 35 on one's body? Just prior to turning 37 I separated my shoulder at Aikido, now this a week and a half after my birthday! I'm not impressed.

Trying to be an optimist (and having the next six days off from work) I will focus on my New Year's resolution to delve into my guitar playing and perhaps write a song (can you say "the Blues"!). Hell, you've got to laugh. Certainly there are folks far worse off than I, and our three year old is quite the nurse.

It felt good to see the world return to normal after the Christmas Holidays. Not that anything really shuts down anymore, but it's just that sensation one gets from over eating, over drinking (though I hardly had a drop the whole season, working both Christmas and New Years), and just the general sense of garbling one's normal routine.

I think the theme for the season was the documentary created with my wife and a couple of friends (though entirely in our heads) about our efforts to see the movie about Johnny Cash and June Carter, "Walk the Line". We had grandma babysitting on two seperate nights, only to arrive at two different theatres on two different occasions to find the newspaper listing was incorrect. So, we didn't see the film, but did have a lovely feed of sushi and an interesting experience with an East Indian parking attendant...

Anyway, here, early on in 2006 we folks up here in Canada can focus our cynicism on the federal election. I am so disenfranchised that I will vote for the Communist Party if they are running in my area (actually though about running for them), just to demonstrate my disgust with our political scene. If there isn't a Marxist-Leninist candidate, then I'll either vote Green or NDP, though both of them are crap (and I could never vote Liberal or Conservative).

Well, that's it for now. Off to lick my wounds and strum my strings!

Monday, January 02, 2006

Steroids, Sports and Human Achievement


The issue of steroid usage in sports is an interesting subject. Let me begin this topic by stating that I have never used steroids. Let me also state that the issue I am examining here is one of morality and not legality. That is to say, yes, steroids are illegal and cheating insofar as they are a banned substance (just as fighting is technically illegal in Hockey or a forward pass is illegal in Rugby) in many sports and illegal under the laws of many countries. Finally, I am not looking at the health implications of steroid usage. There is no doubt that using large amounts of steroids can be harmful, just as excessive drinking, smoking and McDonald's can be harmful if used over a period of time.

What I do wish to ponder is the question of whether utilising steroids to be the biggest or fastest or to simply become better is unethical. This is, perhaps, a more difficult question to ask as our impressions are so heavily entrenched by scandal and media depictions. As a Canadian, I think of Ben Johnson's post Olympic shame, in addition to countless others. We must re-assess this shame. International audiences and sports broadcasters love to see records fall, and seem equally titilated by the inevitable urine test that follows. As a result, media witchhunts have transpired as in the case of Lance Armstrong and his record performances at the Tour de France. There is also the depiction of narcassistic roid raging Body Builders, which is an unfair generalisation. I have had the pleasure of knowing and training with former Olympia contestant and British Champion, Ian Harrison, as well as being good friends with the 2004 Canadian Champion, Dan Fedeluk. Both these men are intelligent, kind and dedicated individuals. Because they have striven to be massive men, they have been labeled in one way by a media that doesn't appear to have the same notions of vanity about others striving to be the fastest or highest endurance, largely because of their appearances.

The ethical nature of using steroids or any other performance enhancing substance lies not in our laws, but in context of the pursuit for which they are utilised. Remember alcohol was once illegal in the United States (and remains illegal in some other nations), and laws on pot are changing presently in several Western nations.

So, is it unethical to use steroids?

I would answer no.

If we widdle the question down to one of producing the fastest, biggest, etc., irregardless of human sanctions such as legality and health issues, the answer can only be "no". Just as training has evolved and nutritional supplements and knowledge has expanded, the usage of drugs has been a part of this evolution. In spite of pressure, and I speak first hand having played Rugby League at the international and pro levels, to use these supplements is up to the individual. It must also be stated that steroids are not going to make someone the best as genetics and training are also major factors and I can guarantee that if I trained like a madman and used steroids that there are several others who would still kick my butt, regardless of the activity.

On the same note, I would discourage people from using these drugs just the same as I would encourge a loved one not to smoke or use narcotics. That being said, there is still something noble in contrasting steroids to smoking or narcotics in at least steroids can often be used in one's pursuit to excell as opposed to merely serving an addiction. Yes, steroids are still damaging the body in many ways, but so too do contact sports (as I can attest) and impact activities, not to mention extreme sports such as ice climbing. They are all matters of degree and perspective.

In conclusion, if we truly want to know how fast, how long and how big a human being can become, then are steroids and other performance enhancing drugs any different in the ethics of attaining this than the evolution of training programmes and designer whey protiens? I would argue unequivically no.

Sunday, January 01, 2006


...Still without art lessons, here is my latest attempt (and subsequent failure) at creating images in acrylic. I think that I had better stick with writing...

...This is called "Crap Cat II".

...He is a merry looking kitty!